They’re at it again! Those wonderful law makers of ours who absolutely, under no circumstances cannot trust us to be adults and make adult decisions about our lives. Starting July 1^st, 2013, Florida will have a fun new law that, according to the text, makes it “unlawful for a person to knowingly and willfully sell or offer for sale [or purchase or possess] at retail any drug paraphernalia described in s. 893.145(12)(a)-(c) or (g)-(m), other than a pipe that is primarily made of briar, meerschaum, clay or corn cob”.

Violate this twice and it is a felony. That means it will take away your right to vote.

Let’s break this down.

First on how this impacts pipe smokers in Florida. I am grateful that the lawmakers were smart enough to include four of the major materials of tobacco pipe. Thank you. However, those certainly aren’t the only materials. I know people who do great work making metal pipes. What about olive-wood or cherry-wood? It seems to violate the law if it is sold in a retail shop. That’s absurd.

Now, let’s look at this from the “we’re supposed to be adults” perspective. This bill bans glass, metal, stone, ceramic pipes, and water pipes (which someone could easily extend to hookahs). Let me make this very clear: it is now (well, will be in July) illegal to sell a piece of glass with two holes on opposite sides. A piece of glass with no malicious intent in its creation is now illegal to sell.

Look, I’m not here to speak out in favor of selling, buying, or partaking in illegal drugs. But something that can be used for illegal purposes should not, vicariously, become illegal to sell. I could easily purchase a glass pipe simply because I think it is pretty or even to smoke tobacco out of because I’m strange.

What do law makers honestly think this will accomplish? Certainly they cannot think that it will lessen drug use. I promise you that there are other ways to accomplish their goals.

Personally, I think it is just the first step to being able to crack down on all devices for burning a burning substance. What is to stop a law maker from suddenly asserting, “These deviants are now using meerschaum pipes for their illegal hobbies”? That would be the end of meerschaum in Florida. After all, the only reason glass pipes got banned is people used it to smoke cannabis. Therefore, if people start using meerschaum for cannabis – or if a law maker even says that they do – there could easily be an amendment to this making meerschaum or clay illegal.

This law is as dangerous as it is pointless. I will repeat a call I made a while ago. It’s fine to become angry about something that you view as injustice, but it is important to actually make your voice heard. Don’t be a silent victim.

Read it for yourself. What do you think?

It’s here again! That magical time of year when people from all different stripes come together and unite around their one common passion: tobacco. Yes, May 31^st, that beautiful day when we come together to celebrate…wait, that’s not right. May 31^st is the day we come together to try to rid ourselves of tobacco. That’s right: World No Tobacco Day.

Every year on May 31^st, the World Health Organization (WHO) promotes World No Tobacco Day, a day where it encourages everyone to abstain from all forms of tobacco use for 24 hours. Why, you might ask? To draw attention to the “widespread prevalence of tobacco use and to the negative health effects of using tobacco products” (Euronews) and to attempt to limit the advertisement for tobacco. The WHO says that it wants to eliminate tobacco advertising, promotion, and sponsorship, or TAPS.

Among the reasons the WHO says that TAPS should be banned is second-hand smoke, evidence that lowering advertising reduces consumption, and the amount of deaths related to tobacco. I, however, have a problem with World No Tobacco Day, go figure.

Tobacco products currently lead to an approximated 5.4 million deaths annually worldwide. In 2011, however, the WHO also said that alcohol leads to around 2.5 million deaths each year. If 5.4 million gets tobacco a full day, 2.5 million should at least get half a day from the WHO where they encourage everyone to give up the sauce and try to prevent all advertisement and promotion on the part of alcohol companies. Oh, wait. That doesn’t happen.

Budweiser is one of the largest sponsors of sporting events in the world, but I haven’t heard a peep out of the WHO about stopping them from doing so. After all, if Budweiser weren’t able to sponsor anything, NASCAR would disappear…hey, I’m starting to like this idea.

It is frighteningly hypocritical for the WHO to say that tobacco is evil and must be snuffed out while happily sipping on their cosmos after a long day at work. Sure, many people say that second-hand smoke is what makes the difference. But what about drunk driving? Both second-hand smoke and drunk driving impact someone other than the user. Here’s the difference: inhaling second-hand smoke might have a negative repercussion one day; getting his by a drunk driver will have a negative repercussion today.

I am in no way encouraging banning alcohol advertisements or alcohol itself. After all, we tried doing that once. It worked wonderfully, only creating an underground crime scene and not reducing alcohol consumption by any significant margin.

Where are the people jumping in to support World No Alcohol Day? Where are the people crying foul when they see Budweiser advertised at their local ballpark? You want to know where they are? They’re drinking a beer. They’re drinking a beer responsibly because they are intelligent enough to see that there is a difference between alcohol abuse and alcohol consumption.

We are all, I would assume, against drunk driving and using alcohol enough to cause permanent damage and becoming dependent on it. But we also see the value of moderation and the difference between taking twelve shots at a bar and drinking a glass of wine with your wife.

That is the same difference between smoking three packs a day and enjoying the occasional cigar or pipe or even cigarette. Moderation.

Personally, though, I don’t care if you choose to take twelve shots at a bar or smoke three packs a day. Just don’t drive after you do it and don’t blow it in my face. Other than that, it’s your life. You’re an adult and I am going to treat you like one. I only ask that you afford me the same respect.

So, you’ve picked out your first pipe, tobacco, and you even know a little bit about the stem material. Now…how the hell do you get the tobacco in there?

Like so many things, we sometimes like to make packing a pipe more complicated than it needs to be. After all, part of the fun of pipes is the ritual and the best rituals tend to be a little over the top.

Before talking about my four favorite methods, a couple of caveats:

1. These are not the only ways to pack a pipe.
2. These might not even be the best ways to pack a pipe. The best way is the way that works for you.
3. Keep experimenting. Some of these methods are relatively new, so never assume that there isn’t more to be discovered.

With that said, it is also important to keep one thing in mind that are widely agreed upon:Packing lighter is often packing better. When the pack is too tight, there isn’t enough oxygen for the flame to breathe and continue burning through the entirety of the bowl. Too light, however, means that the pipe might burn hot or there might not be enough tobacco touching for the flame to pass from one piece to the next. Springy, but not loose.

On to the methods! (All of these are intended for ribbon, shag, or rubbed out flakes)

Gravity Fill or Three Step Pack

1. Drizzle tobacco into your empty pipe until tobacco reaches the top of the bowl.
2. Push the tobacco down lightly using a tamper or your finger until it fills about 1/3 of the bowl. This tamp should be very light, some say like you would “shake a baby’s hand” as a way of remembering.
3. Repeat the drizzling until the tobacco reaches the top.
4. Again, tamp down the tobacco, this time until about 2/3 of the pipe is filled. This time, use a little more force, “like you should shake a lady’s hand”.
5. Drizzle more tobacco.
6. Tamp down the tobacco a little firmer still, like you were “shaking a man’s hand”. Keep in mind not to pack too tightly.

If this is done correctly, you should end up with a fully packed pipe. This is hands down the most common method of filling a pipe. That doesn’t mean it’s the best, it just means the most common.

There is a reason for the different pressures in packing. By having one layer packed more firmly than the previous, it actually continues to pack down the previous layer, meaning that, by the end, you should have three layers of tobacco that are fairly evenly packed. This means that if you packed the first layer too tight, you will end up with the bottom layer tighter than the other two, which will result in a tougher draw and a less pleasant smoke.

The Frank Method

This method, though I’m sure it had been used previously by someone, gained fame from Achim Frank, apparently for competitive use. It is, however, wonderful for everyday pipe smoking and, for me at least, requires fewer relights than the previously mentioned method.

The basic premise is this. You follow step one from about, drizzling tobacco into the bowl until it reaches the lip, but you don’t push it down. Instead, you then form a plug of tobacco that is gently, but firmly, packed into the top of the bowl using your thumbs. The tobacco is pressed in from the sides of the plug, not forced in from the top; it is massaged into the bowl.

While it might appear, at first, to make the draw impossibly tight, due to the large wad of tobacco loaded into the top, this is not the case. You have, in fact, created a loosely packed area at the bottom of the bowl, followed by a tightly packed layer. This is the same goal as in the Gravity Fill Method, just achieved differently.

While a picture might be worth a thousand words, this series of videos by Mr. Frank himself is even better. Below you will find a link to the first of three videos. They are lengthy, but thorough. I will say one thing, however: I cannot recommend strongly enough against using a torch lighter for your pipes. It makes the tobacco hotter and runs a very high risk of scorching the top of your pipe, which is not a fun experience at all.

Frank Method, Part I

The Air Pocket Method

Fred Hanna has many claims to fame: he’s an incredibly intelligent and well-spoken member of the pipe community, has written countless articles, and has advocated the value of moderation. Perhaps more than anything is his advocacy of the Air Pocket Method, which is extremely similar to the Frank Method with a few differences.

1. Create a plug of tobacco using your thumb, index, and middle finger.

2. Without filling the bottom of the bowl with any tobacco, place the plug on top of the bowl and hold in place with your other thumb.

3. Firmly push the tobacco into the bowl, making sure not to put put pressure on the center of it.

4. Once a decent amount of the plug is into the bowl, start “screwing” the plug into the bowl as you push it down. This serves to entangle the tobacco further, purportedly making it easier for the burning embers to ignate more tobacco strands.

To make this a true air pocket method, you need to make sure not to have tobacco in the bottom half of the bowl. This empty half is the “air pocket” from which it gets its name.

The Palm Pack

This one is pretty new to me, but I am falling more and more in love with it. It follows a similar principle to The Frank Method and The Air Pocket Method, but the actual means of packing the pipe is unique, bizarre, and strangely effective.

1. (Optional) Drizzle in a small layer of tobacco into the bowl. This can be skipped to simulated the effect of the Air Pocket Method. I choose to do it for no other reason than I am used to it.
2. Loosen a fair amount of tobacco (enough to fill the rest of your pipe and a little bit more for safety’s sake) and rest it in the palm of your non-dominant hand.
3. Take your pipe in your other hand and turn it, bowl-side down, on top of the tobacco.
4. Now move your pipe around on your hand in a circular motion whenever there is tobacco. No need to do this quickly; take your time. If done while applying a slight amount of pressure, you will notice less and less tobacco in your hand as it is being loaded into the pipe. Do this long enough until you see that enough tobacco is missing from your hand. Return the remainder to the tin/bag/jar (waste not, want not).
5. Now gently push down on the tobacco in the bowl. This is not to actually pack down the tobacco more, but just to make sure it is not overflowing.
6. Take a test draw. If done correctly, you might be amazed to find that it is packed damn near perfectly.

This method has delivered fantastic results for me. I’ve shown it to a few of my friends and witnessed nothing but utter shock on their faces when they take a test draw to find the perfect resistance.

Beware: This method is not good for people with sweaty hands. The reason should be obvious.

For all of these methods, and every method, in fact, it is important to remember a few keys:

• The draw prior to lighting the pipe should have only a slight resistance. If there is too much difficulty drawing, dump out and start again. There’s no shame in that.
• Some people like to add a little bit more loose tobacco on top after the final step to encourage an easy lighting.
• Experiment. Experiment. Experiment. There is a missing element to all of these methods and that is you. You have to learn what is right for you or it won’t be right at all. Theory is great, but if it doesn’t work in practice, who cares?

So, what’s your favorite method? What have you found works best for you?

Hey, folks. I just wanted to let you know that I have not forgotten about the blog. I have 12 days left of teaching, so have been a little swamped trying to finish up grading and all that good stuff.

However, I have a number of pieces in the bullpen and an exciting new phase of my pipe-career getting worked on with Big D Babitzke. Check back soon for more updates and many new pieces!

(This piece has no photos because I want you all to post your own!)

The Chicago Pipe Show only comes once a year…but my little brother’s bar mitzvah only comes once in a lifetime. Thus, I knew that no matter how much I tried and whined and kvetched when I found out that Devon’s bar mitzvah was on May 4^th, I would be heading to Kentucky this weekend instead of the Chicago Pipe Show.

Though I like to consider myself mature, I will admit that I am still not 100% over having to miss the show, and this last week has been rough. Everywhere I look online I see plans for meet-ups, events, and good times to be had by all.

I started thinking about what makes missing this show so rough for me. I’ve missed several other shows, having never been to the Kansas City, Richmond, or Las Vegas shows before. It’s not the ability to ogle and buy incredible pipes; I spend far too much of my time ogling pipes online as it is (and I’ve already made a few Chicago Show purchases, anyway, to be displayed later!) So what’s the problem?

The problem is that pipe shows, especially one as large and wide-ranging as the Chicago Show, offer you something that cannot be purchased online: a true feeling of brotherhood. I use this term with no sexist implications, for there are many female members of this club. However, what I get most out of shows like this is a feeling of acceptance, the realization that, no matter what direction you look, there is someone who understands and appreciates your hobby. This is the same feeling that many geeks find at Comic Conventions or Renaissance Faires (Not that I have any experience with either, of course…right…).

When I step onto the floor of a pipe show, I feel a metaphorical weight lifting off of my shoulders and that weight’s name is isolation. While there is a small and wonderful pipe club here in St. Louis, it is rare that I get to be around many other people who appreciate pipes to the same degree that I do, or even more so.

Last year, when Lauren and I finally arrived in Chicago after much anticipation and preparation, it was difficult to really describe the way that I felt. I am not saying this in an attempt to overly Romanticize the experience, but rather to explain. The smell of the room, the sight of the tables, the din of people wandering around discussing pipes…it was beautiful to me. I will miss that feeling this year.

On the up side, I hope to be attending the Kansas City show this year and see my friends that I will desperately miss seeing this year in Chicago. To all of you able to attend the show, I am undyingly envious and hope you have an incredible time. Be sure to take pictures for me! And to any of my pipe maker friends out there…save something good for me! J

While you all are in the show room and in the smoking tent, I will be at a temple watching my little brother read from the Torah and enter in the realm of manhood. All in all, it’s not a bad trade off